Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
