You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you would pick up someone in the library
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
