yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I forget how to act sober
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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