I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
