This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
