Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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