and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
