My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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