I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
