epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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