By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
