**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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