Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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