Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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