No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
