Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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