i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
its liver damage thursday
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
