I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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