Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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