Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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