it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
