All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
