A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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