Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
