Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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