I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
