They should really pass out barf bags in church
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
