areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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