i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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