we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
