I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
