I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
