When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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