i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
