it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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