I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
