Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
