Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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