idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My breasts were aching with rage.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize