Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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