If i come over, it means nothing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
