The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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