my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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