also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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