Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
