My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize