I wanna bring you to show and tell
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
