She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
