the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
