I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
