Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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