If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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