Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize