I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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