; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just tell him i said nine months
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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