Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
