sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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