did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize