I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They have beer where we have blood.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize